Whoever came up with the term “terrible twos” clearly never had a three year old. My dearest Khloe is just a couple weeks shy of turning three and let me just tell you, it has been rough around here. This little girl of mine is one tough cookie. She is head strong and assertive, and I have a love hate relationship with those character traits these days. I love that I will never have to worry about her knowing exactly what she wants and how she wants it and I know for sure she will not take no as an answer, but that is all currently biting me in the ass. I hate that she tests me, and I mean really REALLY tests me. She knows exactly what buttons to push and how hard to push them.
For the first time in her life, she is protesting bed time, and I use the word protesting very lightly. I will be the first person to admit that I have absolutely no patience. It is probably my number one vice when it comes to being a mother and I absolutely hate tha about myself. It is something that I have to work on daily. With even the slightest mention of going to bed she loses it. I mean absolutely loses it. It is like something out of a movie starring Emily Rose. Yes, exorcism type screaming, thrusting, kicking, spitting and completely out of control nonsense.
Night number one of this was the worst, it wasn’t until midnight that I decided to give up and put her in our bed because I was just dead dog tired. No amount of spankins or threats could even put a dent in her uncontrollable craziness. Let’s just say that night number one was rough. Night number two I took a different approach. I laid and held her in bed while she fought as hard as she could until I started singing. I didn’t know what else to do so I just started singing to her. And when I ran out of lyrics, I started making them up on my own. After 10 minutes of cuddles, she was out.
Let me just inform you that this behavior doesn’t only come out at night. It is just as bad during the day, and sometimes maybe even worse. She has started telling me “noooo” and “nevvveerrr” when I ask her to do something or mostly ask her not to do something. She has resorted to hitting and kicking, and whatever else comes to mind when you think of the word defiance. No form of punishment has worked for us until now.
Koko is the type of kid that finds something and fixates on it, even if it’s a rock. She has a select few toys that she doesn’t want anyone to touch, not even me. Right now she is all about using her imagination and all the paper she can get her hands on automatically is deemed as a map or her book. I got a tiny informational paper booklet in a bottle and she has been attached to it ever since. The other day she threw a book at her friends head and after countless attempts to get her to stop whining and to talk to her about why she was in trouble and to get her to apologize, I finally grabbed said book and ripped one of the edges. Let me just tell you, no form of punishment will every compare to how fast she shaped up when I put the booklet in between my fingers to rip off another edge.
Many times I have tried taking toys away, throwing them away, etc and she typically just goes on to the next toy. I have successfully learned that the way to discipline is by inflicting pain onto some of her most prized toys. Some might think I’m harsh and my husband refers to me as Hitler, but I am just at my wits end over here and have to find a way around this attitude she has because let me just tell you, it is FIERCE. On top of that, she has requested an Elsa birthday party and has made a deal with her daddy that IF she is a good girl, Elsa and Ana can come to her birthday party, which has given me quite the leverage over her. One quick “phone call” to Elsa gets her to shape up pretty quick.
This job of mine is not easy and often times I have to play the role of me and Gabe. If I don’t get this girl under control, she is going to run me into the ground. It is just me myself and I over here and I’ll be damned if I have the kid that people stare at or talk about when they leave my house. I am constantly trying to raise these girls to be friendly and kind, and it is really really hard. The whole point of this post is to reassure everyone that your kid is not the only one who is a jerk. All kids are jerks. My kid can make me cry faster than a grown man could, and that’s the dang truth. Three is just starting for us and I’m already ready for it to be over. From one struggling mom to another, may the odds be ever in your favor ✌🏼